” Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” – Rumi
Words, they can heal or they can kill. They can cut like a knife and once said can forever be etched into the heart of anyone. It’s the ones forever embedded in our souls that replay in our heads for years to come.
I have this terrible downfall. A side of me that I constantly have to stay on top of or in a split second I can vomit out words that I know will slice deep. I developed it in the last couple years and I hate every second of every word spoken. I believe it’s a defense mechanism I have developed against people close to me. A protective mode I go into, so that I can be heard through my hurt.
My trust issues are as real as they come. I view everyone that gets to receive my love as someone that will sometime down the road abandon me. I can pretty much pin point why I feel that way, but to explain it only allows me to use it as an excuse and it deserves no recognition other then it’s my own fault if it comes out. I can take a lot, but as soon it builds and builds my theory of Oh yeah, you hurt me and now I am about to make you feel the same hurt comes pouring out of me. It’s ugly. It gets me no where other then just feeling more hurt because now I am hurting for the person I just let loose on.
We have complete control over our reactions to people, but as soon as you lose the control you’ve just given the power to the problem. I am learning through experience that not everything deserves a reaction from me no matter what I am feeling. I often say Silence is Golden and there couldn’t be any truer statement. It’s hard to do, but necessary in many circumstances.
I can say this with complete confidence that condemnation from a person towards you is only a reflection of what is going on internally in them. How can I say that? Well, because when I have spewed hateful things I know for a fact it reveals what I am feeling inside. What if instead we showed kindness in times we would rather rip out our hearts and place in the hands of the person who broke it? What if we stopped ourselves in our tracks and asked What can I do for you to change this between us instead of You did this, You caused this, You hurt me, you…you…you? We need to sometimes just close our mouths, open our ears and listen. That person may already be hurting just as bad as you in that moment and does not know how to express it to you.
Love on someone today!