As a child, I can remember being at my grandmother’s house. My dad’s mom. She was one tough cookie. She wasn’t your normal grandmother. You didn’t cuddle with her. You didn’t touch her stuff. You were loved, but it would never be shown or expressed. She lived in a home up by the Lake Erie. We all gathered there at different times of the year. Tons of grandchildren and it would make her a nervous wreck. We would run in and out of her house and we constantly heard her yelling “Shut the Door” or “Latch that DAMN door!”. She was so obsessed with her front screen door not being shut properly. After a long life of 93 years and it was time to have people get up at her funeral and speak of memories and the first thing said was ” Latch that damn door”. We all laughed and cried at that same time because in that moment we knew that memory so well. It was her way of what we learned as grandchildren was her love expression, as weird as it seems. It’s something that only a handful of us truly understand.
As a new year approaches, everyone begins their new years resolutions. Whether it’s to lose weight, workout more, live healthier, stop smoking, become more financially responsible, the list can be endless and we hear it out of the mouths of many. I’ve never been one to ever put in my mind any new years resolution. I applaud the ones that do it and stick to it, but as someone in the fitness world daily I see it as failure.
My line of work booms during this time, but we can typically mark the ones that will be done a month or two into it. Sorry, but its just the truth. When you are a personal trainer you are also a behavioral coach. In the fitness world there are 5 stages to behavioral signs, Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action and Maintenance. Pre-contemplation people we will probably never see, but mentally they know they need to change. Contemplation people we will typically get to see for a meeting and we hope our words continue to push them towards finally starting a new life. Preparation people typically are your people already in the gym some, but need guidance on what to do. They have high expectations goals. If we get the opportunity, we love to educate them on placing a big goal, but setting and attacking smaller goals to reach the bigger goal. Our Action people have maintained changed lifestyle behavior for at least 6 months and we are there for barriers and plateaus to get them over humps. Our maintenance people, we’ve probably have had our hands on for a months. We have broke the barrier of health and wellness being something they dread, but they are still an everyday work in progress to keep them going. Sometimes at this point, these are the ones that step away from us as trainers and do well on their own. They have been trained on everything from nutrition to form and we let them out to fly hoping the will and determination has been instilled in them from the inside out to do this on their own.
I mention these 5 stages because they aren’t just applied to the fitness world. They can be applied to anything in our lives we are are trying to change. Its our behavioral nature. As for my stance on new years resolutions, I do not fault anyone that decides on a certain day to start a new journey. However, this year I’m personally choosing to do this differently. Yes, there are goals I need to set and reach. I have fallen short myself this year in many aspects, but starting 2020 I am starting things different. I am focusing on the endings instead of what I need to begin. Ultimately, if you look at any new beginning its because of an ending.
2019 I’m shutting doors, or as my grandma used to reiterate to make sure they are properly shut, ” Latch that damn door!” Its everything that’s kept you rooted where you don’t belong that’s stopping you from keeping the doors to close. It’s holding you back from your purpose. Every door that was being shut by God, that you kept opening or tried to get back in. Every ounce of your being to focus on whats behind that door instead of whats waiting in front of you. Those situations behind those doors that you gave every ounce of your energy to prop open. The ones that slammed shut and you were determined to make sure you kept re-opening it and checking every stone to make sure they were over turned, looked underneath, picked up and held for protection, dusted off, gave one more glance.
So here’s to endings, endings of anything and everything that’s been holding you back from your purpose. Goodbye unhealthy living, goodbye job that doesn’t make you feel fulfilled, goodbye old love that’s stole your peace, goodbye unhappy life that made you not want to wake up to everyday, goodbye bad habits that destroy your livelihood. What ever your goodbye is; close the door on it. Endings serve no purpose, but to push you forward and no longer backwards. Place your memory of 2019 in its final chapter and label it The End. Today you begin a new year, a new decade and a new story to write. A story of gratitude. A story of praise. A story of new opportunities. A story of big, huge beautiful doors that await your foot steps to walk through.
“While you were busy fighting the storm, God was busy preparing the hearts of everyone that are about to be renewed by your words through Him. Your name has been spoken in rooms, your feet have not entered yet….walk through those doors.”
Sit with me, lets talk…..